


How Much is Too Much Eggnog?

by chakochick



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Christmas, F/M, Holiday Cheer, Hungover, Shore Leave, Too much eggnog, did they or didn't they?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:20:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28299603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chakochick/pseuds/chakochick
Summary: A Secret Santa fic for my dimple sister :) - what if, while on shore leave, the Captain and Commander drink a bit too much eggnog? What could possibly go wrong? :) Merry Christmas everyone!!!P.S. thank you to Mana for plot help!!!
Relationships: Chakotay & Kathryn Janeway, Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway
Comments: 22
Kudos: 78





	How Much is Too Much Eggnog?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Trekflower (TrekFlower)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrekFlower/gifts).



The sun of Treleus Prime finally rose high enough over the mountains to shine down into Chakotay’s bedroom, the pinkish light moving across the floor until it finally landed on his face. Groaning in frustration, Voyager’s first officer begrudgingly opened his heavily lidded eyes, cringing away from the garish light as he worked to bring his mind back to consciousness.

Sitting up slowly, he let his equilibrium catch up to his body as he dropped his legs over the side of the bed. He could feel his heart beat in his temples and cringed as his stomach roiled violently. Pushing himself up and off the plush mattress, he moved out of the bedroom in search of his communicator. None of the senior staff had worn their uniforms down to the planet, so therefore they had left their comm badges aboard Voyager. Each had been issued standard handheld communicators, and Chakotay knew his was somewhere in the main living area of his assigned rooms.

The dignitary suites on Treleus Prime were really quite impressive, as Chakotay had noted upon entering the day before; lavish and cushy furniture, plush carpets, and a bed three times the size of his standard double bed aboard Voyager...but all he could think about now was not vomiting on the floor as he searched, eyes half shut, for his damned communicator.

“Computer, lights down to fifty percent intensity,” he spoke out in a hoarse voice, but the room acquiesced, bathing him in a soft purple glow as the lights dimmed. Finally spotting his communicator on the table next to a bowl of fruit that had been left for him, he picked it up and switched it on, “Chakotay to sickbay,” he closed his eyes to keep the room from swaying gently as he looked about.

“The Doctor here. What can I do for you, Commander?” The Doctor sounded irritated by being summoned, which only aggravated Chakotay even more. Swallowing around his tongue that felt like cotton, he spoke to the EMH.

“Hey, Doc. I have one hell of a hangover. Any chance you could send down a hypospray?” Chakotay’s mouth began to water and he willed his stomach to behave as he dropped down into one of the chairs at the table, flinching as the cool metal hit his bare skin. He didn’t remember stripping naked before going to bed. Spotting his dress shirt from the night before on the floor near the bedroom door, he realized he must have been more drunk before bed than he thought.

The Doctor smirked over the comm-line, “Well if you and the Captain wouldn’t have been guzzling the eggnog as if your lives depended on it, you wouldn’t be in need of my help this morning, would you? I suppose the Captain needs a hypospray as well, yes?”

Chakotay was _not_ in the mood for the Doctor’s haughty attitude so early and in his current condition. He was about to retort when the Doctor’s words finally caught up with his brain. “How should I know if the Captain needs a hypospray?” He scrubbed his face with his hands in an attempt to try to keep up with the Doctor’s logic, but the pounding behind his temples had traveled to behind his eyes and he was almost willing to say anything to get the Doctor to acquiesce to a treatment for him.

“Well, seeing as how the two of you left the festivities together last night, I can only assume that she’s with you now,” the Doctor’s tone was judgemental and condescending and Chakotay was in no mood for it.

“No, Doctor, you assume wrong. I’m looking around the room and I don’t see the Captain here. One hypospray should do it.” He took a slow deep breath as his stomach continued to churn, wondering to himself how to reprimand a hologram.

“Alright, Commander. It’s on its way. I’m sending it because I have a duty of care as your physician. I’ll wait until you are back aboard Voyager to explain the correlation between alcohol consumption and hangover symptoms.” At that moment a hypospray materialized on the table before Chakotay. With a scowl he snatched it up and pressed it to his neck, turning off the communicator without answering the Doctor. He was in no mood for a lecture.

Immediately the pounding in his head lessened to the dullest of aches and his stomach relaxed nearly to the point that he whiplashed from nausea to hunger. The heaviness of the remnants of the eggnog he’d had the night before began to lift and shards of memories began to return to him as his head cleared. He _did_ remember imbibing with Kathryn...much more than was dignified, being a Starfleet officer or not.

He couldn’t help himself. He was so very much enjoying watching Kathryn enjoy herself that he couldn’t very well refuse each time she offered to fill his cup. He’d loved the way she linked her arm with his, laughing heartily at the antics of her crew as they celebrated the eve of Christmas Eve.

She had negotiated shore leave for the entire crew, and the dates happened to coincide with the week leading up to Christmas. The Trelians were more than happy to learn of the Earth custom of the celebration of the birth of their savior, and even happier to throw a series of parties in His honor. Kathryn and Chakotay hadn’t attended on December 21st or 22nd; Kathryn hoping that the crew might enjoy some time away from the chain of command in order to relax and let loose a bit. She didn’t want them worrying that their Captain or Commander were watching or judging. She trusted them to behave without causing too much of a ruckus, and when over two dozen of the crew had told her she had to attend the gala the night of the 23rd, she had finally agreed.

Chakotay was thrilled. He had been thrilled to see her when she’d opened the door of her suite when he’d arrived to escort her to the event. Her hair was pulled back from her face in the front, twisted in some intricate design he’d seen on many of the Trelian women, but instead of the complicated way the locals piled their own hair atop their heads, Kathryn had opted to let hers hang free, curled in loose ringlets down her back. She wore a soft dress that matched her eyes to perfection, and her feet were bare, as was the custom on Treleus Prime. With the planet boasting subtropical temperatures, it was quite comfortable.

Chakotay marveled at how much shorter she was walking barefoot beside him. He too wore no shoes, but their height difference was still extremely exaggerated. He’d opted for a plain white dress shirt and black linen pants that many of the Trelian men wore as well. 

Kathryn had remained by Chakotay’s side the entire night, from the moment they arrived, to when they’d sat down to the lavish dinner prepared by the household of the prefecture, and even as they moved about the large hall to make sure the crew was enjoying themselves, she never gravitated too far from him.

The Trelians were eager to learn of Earth customs, even attempting to prepare food and beverage the crew was used to. There was hot chocolate, several types of wine, and they had even made eggnog, which Kathryn had thrilled at. Chakotay had never had it before, but was more than happy to try it when Kathryn had ladled them both a glass. He wasn’t sure what type of alcohol was in it, but he could tell it was strong...and Kathryn had consumed quite a bit. At first he’d worried for her small frame, but as they both became warmed by the beverage, and Kathryn had begun to lean into his body as they watched the festivities, he couldn’t find it in himself to care.

As he sat now at his breakfast table, remembering flashes of the evening, his brow furrowed...he couldn’t remember how it ended. He knew they’d spent far too much time giggling like school girls as they talked of memories of home and instances where they’d both had too much to drink. He halfway remembered walking her to her own assigned rooms, but beyond that, his mind was blank. Knowing that if his own state of being several minutes ago was any indicator, Kathryn was liable to wake up feeling even worse. He stood up quickly from the table, feeling nearly one hundred percent now, deciding to get dressed and go check on her. Moving back towards his bedroom and a fresh change of clothes, he rounded the corner into the room…

...and stopped dead in his tracks. 

Nothing could have prepared him for the sight before him.

Kathryn lay asleep on the other side of the bed from where he’d woken up. In his hung over state he hadn’t noticed, and since she lay on the side farthest from the door, he’d had no reason to look behind him when he’d gotten up.

But he certainly had reason to now.

Kathryn lay on her stomach facing away from him, and from what he could see of her back, she wasn’t wearing clothes either. Glancing around quickly, he spotted her blue dress on the floor near her side of the bed, as well as a pair of black lace panties. She had one arm under her pillow while the other lay hanging over the side of the bed, and her hair was splayed out across her back and pillow. 

Chakotay felt the immediate stirrings of an erection at the sight and the realization that he too was still nude. Stumbling away from the room to avoid an awkward encounter lest she wake up and see him standing there, he snatched up his own pants and shirt and moved quickly towards the bathroom, his mind reeling with questions that he had no answer to.

What happened last night? Why was Kathryn in his bed? Why was Kathryn naked? Why was _he_ naked? He closed the bathroom door and commanded the shower on, hoping that the hot water would shake more memories loose in his mind.

Did he and Kathryn sleep together last night? Glancing down at his semi-erect penis, he looked for any evidence of sex, but found none. Realizing that didn’t mean a whole hell of a lot, he closed his eyes as he pressed his face into the hot spray, willing his mind to come up with _any_ explanation.

He hissed at the sudden pain that shot through his back as the water poured over him. Cringing, he stepped back out of the shower to examine his back in the mirror. His eyes went wide as he turned as best he could, seeing long red scratches down the length of his back that looked suspiciously like fingernail marks. Equal parts shock and misery at not remembering hit him like a force as he tried with all his might to remember what happened the night before.

He found only blackness where the memories of last night should have lived, and he cringed at the idea that maybe he and Kathryn did have sex last night, and that he didn’t remember it.

Of course he’d dreamed of it for years. He yearned for it and lived for it, waiting patiently for Kathryn to be ready…

How could he screw up and let it happen when they were both inebriated, and now he had no recollection of it actually happening.

He also realized he couldn’t very well ask Kathryn what she remembered. Shamed at the thought of having to ask her if she remembered a drunken fuck with him, he knew he couldn’t and wouldn’t bring it up unless she did.

Stepping back into the shower, he massaged the soap quickly over his body, avoiding his groin until the last possible moment, working the bubbles over his heated skin quickly, willing his erection to go away before he had to face Kathryn...how was he going to face her? He couldn’t very well stay in the shower for the rest of the day, and he didn’t have the heart to leave his quarters and leave her alone, lest she wake up feeling even worse than he did.

With a sigh he turned off the shower and dried off, dressing in a fresh pair of pants and a dark green lounge shirt. He exited the bathroom quietly and moved towards his bedroom, not sure if he was relieved or saddened to find the bed empty.

Kathryn was gone.

=/\=

By the time the door to her assigned quarters closed behind her, Kathryn was just dropping to her knees before the toilet to lose what was left in her stomach from the night before. Waking up in Chakotay’s bed was a shock. Waking up naked in Chakotay’s bed was a bigger shock, and waking up with the hangover that she had was just enough to roil her stomach into violent spasms. She vaguely heard water running in his bathroom as she quickly pulled her dress back on, but didn’t have the guts or the time to stick around to find out what the hell happened the night before.

She heaved several more times before finally dropping into a seated position before the toilet, flushing the contents away with a sigh. Her head was spinning and her heart beat pulsed behind her eyes. What had made her think she could drink all of that eggnog and have it leave her unscathed? With a groan she pushed up off the floor and moved towards her sitting area where she’d left her communicator. Dropping down onto the sofa, she activated it, her voice hoarse when she spoke, “Janeway to sickbay.”

There was a huff as the EMH answered her hail, “Good morning, Captain. I was wondering when you’d call. I assume you need a hypospray as well?”

Kathryn frowned, not in the mood for the Doctor’s derogatory tone, “As well as what?” Another huff from the other end of the comm line.

“The Commander commed me for a hypospray not one quarter of an hour ago, and when I asked him if you needed one too, he said he didn’t know. I assumed from your behavior last night that you would have been together. It seemed-” Kathryn was in no mood for a dressing down so early in the morning.

“Enough, Doctor. Please send down the hypospray. Janeway out.” Turning her communicator off, she sighed when the hypospray materialized beside her on the sofa. Quickly administering it, she closed her eyes as the feeling of nausea and dizziness diminished blissfully into the background.

Then she cringed at the notion that she had no recollection of what happened the previous evening. She remembered Chakotay escorting her from her rooms to the dinner gala, and how wonderful it had been to arrive on his arm. She remembered a remarkable dinner, and visiting with the Trelians and Voyager crew alike...and she remembered large amounts of eggnog.

She hadn’t had any in years, and the fact that the Trelians were so excited about Earth customs made her want to partake all the more. Having lived on synthohol for far too long, she didn’t realize how quickly the real thing would affect her...and Chakotay had taken each refill she had offered him. He had probably felt just as lousy this morning as she had.

She wondered what he remembered of last night. Closing her eyes, willing her mind to focus on the void in her memories, she thought back to the last thing she remembered.

She remembered more or less stumbling back to Chakotay’s quarters, hanging on his arm and drinking in the warmth of him beside her...she had intended to have sex with him...she remembers fleetingly the arousal that had built up in her as she’d consumed the eggnog and her inhibitions faded farther and farther in the background. She cringed at the thought of her behavior in front of her crew. She couldn’t remember kissing him in front of anyone, but she remembered telling him that she wanted to kiss him. She’d stared at that damned cupid’s bow for the better part of three years, wondering what it would feel like against her lips and tongue.

Groaning in frustration at her lack of memory beyond the vague shards that were coming back to her, she decided to take a shower and get herself a bit more put together. Maybe the rest of the evening would come back to her in time...she hoped.

Walking into the bathroom and ordering up a hot shower, she peeled her dress back off, sighing in defeat when she realized that in her haste to leave Chakotay’s rooms, she’d left her panties behind. Pressing the heel of her hand into her forehead, she looked at herself in the mirror.

Her eyes went wide when she spotted a mark on her chest, just above her right breast...a hickey. Closing her eyes in utter shame, she mentally cast out her senses to take stock of the rest of her body. Though her sex didn’t feel sore or stretched from a night of love making, she did notice a stickiness between her thighs that made her take pause. Biting her lip, she twisted as best she could to look at her back in the mirror, but didn’t see any other marks present.

Not sure whether to laugh or cry or hit something, she stepped dejectedly into the shower spray, completely at a loss for what happened between Chakotay and herself.

Did he remember? Was he hoping for a repeat? A repeat of what? 

She couldn’t deny that she’d found it harder and harder as time went on to keep a professional distance between them. They’d come so close, so many times, to crossing the line between friendship and all that lay beyond...and she would be damned if she didn’t want it. She wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but she ached to know what it was like to be loved by Chakotay...and she knew he loved her. He’d all but proclaimed it on New Earth, and though she’d kept him at arm’s length ever since, he’d shown her, day after day, that his affections and wishes had not changed. She knew he’d wait for her.

But she was getting damned tired of waiting.

Had she finally let her walls down last night and taken that final step with him? Had she finally received what she’d wished for for years, only to have no memory of it now? She let out a rueful laugh at the irony of it. It would be her damned luck to have exactly that happen.

Shaking her head to clear her mind; this circular way of thinking was getting her nowhere, she turned to wet and wash her hair, deciding to venture out of her rooms and get something for breakfast, and perhaps speak to Tuvok or one of the Trelians about last night. Perhaps someone else would be able to shed some light on what had happened to fill in her fractured memories.

=/\=

“You mean you don’t remember?” B’Elanna asked with a chuckle as she and Chakotay finished their breakfast. “You had your hands all over each other.” Chakotay pulled a face and B’Elanna relented, “Okay, maybe not _all_ over each other, but for the two of you, it sure seemed like it. She never let go of your arm, and anytime you walked anywhere, your hand was on her lower back or hip.”

Chakotay opened his mouth to speak, but at that moment Tom sat down, a Cheshire cat-like grin pulling his lips up. “Hands all over each other? We talking about the Captain and Commander?” Chakotay’s mouth dropped open as the color drained from his face, and B’Elanna just gave him a shit-eating grin.

“Yes we are, but Chakotay can’t remember what happened after he and Captain Janeway left here last night,” B’Elanna was loving teasing her friend, but felt a little sorry for him not remembering what might have potentially been the best night of his life.

“I don’t know, but I could hear you from my quarters a floor away,” Tom spoke, his blue eyes glittering. He knew he was probably overstepping his bounds, but he couldn’t help himself. He knew he’d gone too far when Chakotay’s eyes darkened and narrowed at the blonde man.

“Paris, just because we’re not aboard Voyager doesn’t mean I can’t reprimand you to the brig. I don’t give a damn if it’s Christmas eve.” Chakotay’s voice was laced with acid as he spoke, and Tom nodded, closing his mouth. B’Elanna looked like she wanted to say something, but kept silent as well.

Chakotay opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again and then closed it again before shaking his head and getting up from the table. B’Elanna had been less than helpful, and he hadn’t wanted to hit Tom that much since he’d first seen him on Voyager’s bridge all those years ago.

Walking towards the exit, he felt more conflicted than ever.

“Tom Paris, did you really hear them last night?” B’Elanna leaned closer to whisper to him, her brown eyes full of excitement.

Tom chuckled as he picked up a small piece of fruit and popped it in his mouth, “Nah, but maybe if he thinks they got it on last night, they will _finally_ talk about their feelings and get a room for real this time. God knows everyone aboard Voyager could live without that tension for the next seventy years.”

B’Elanna raised her juice glass in salute, “I’ll drink to that.”

=/\=

Tuvok sat with his fingers steepled as Kathryn paced before him, wringing her hands as she tried to piece her thoughts together. Finally, she stopped, turning to face him expectantly. “Tuvok, what should I do?”

Tuvok remained silent for a moment, looking at a spot on the wall behind her before finally meeting her eyes. “May I ask which you are most upset about? The fact that you potentially entered into a sexual relationship with Commander Chakotay last night, or the fact that you are upset because you do not remember it if you did?”

Kathryn was about to open her mouth to answer the former, but then was taken aback as she really listened to his question. She wasn’t exactly upset about potentially having sex with Chakotay...afterall, she’d wanted to for years. She silently dropped down into a chair across from him as she really chewed on that question.

She had always known, in the back of her mind, that sex with Chakotay would be more than memorable. The chemistry between them was obvious...to more than just the two of them, she feared. It had thrilled her to think about, and she often did when her imagination and her fingers were her only companions when she got particularly lonely.

Yes, she was more upset that she potentially experienced that magic with Chakotay last night, and had no memory of it. Frowning, she dropped her head in her hands, letting out a low moan at the situation they’d gotten themselves in.

Tuvok watched his friend, though not having experienced what she was feeling, he was at least familiar enough with humans to understand the conflicting emotions. “I take it from your non answer, that you regret that you potentially missed or have forgotten a major event in your relationship with the Commander,” it wasn’t a question, and Kathryn looked at him from behind her hands, slowly nodding in affirmation. “If you knew for certain, that you did in fact sleep with the Commander last night, would you regret it?”

Kathryn gave a soft chuckle for the fact that Tuvok wasn’t holding anything back. It was one of the things she loved about him. Taking a moment to chew on that question as well, she weighed her options. If she had awoken this morning, naked and in Chakotay’s bed, and he had still been there, it may have been awkward, and they definitely would have had to have a very serious conversation about their relationship going forward, but she could honestly admit to herself that she would not have regretted it. Taking a deep breath, she looked back at her friend, finding her comfort and truth in his dark eyes. “I would not regret it.”

Tuvok nodded, “Then I believe that you should go to him. If you do not, you will worry needlessly, wondering about all of the ‘what ifs’ and you will be no closer to an answer or any type of closure. I know that Commander Chakotay cares for you greatly, as you care for him. He would not want you worrying so, as I’m sure you would not wish that for him.”

Kathryn smiled, knowing that Tuvok spoke the truth. “Thank you, Tuvok. You always know just what I need to hear,” as she spoke she frowned slightly. “You don’t think it would be a mistake, do you? If that type of relationship did arise between the Commander and myself?” She bit her lip, knowing Tuvok would tell the truth, but worried about what that truth might be.

“We have a long journey ahead of us yet, and the entire crew needs to do what they can to be happy. That includes the Captain as well. If being with Commander Chakotay makes you happy, then I believe it is not a mistake. The working relationship that you two share is very beneficial for Voyager and her crew. I can only imagine that the stronger you two are together, the stronger Voyager shall be.” Kathryn gave Tuvok a sly smile.

“Are you _encouraging_ me to sleep with Chakotay?” That lopsided grin would have made anyone else smile, but a small furrow formed between Tuvok’s eyebrows as he tried to decipher her humor.

“I am encouraging you to do what it is already in your heart to do. But I think it would be advantageous for you to seek out the Commander and discuss what did or did not transpire last night. Only then will you be able to move forward in whichever direction you see fit.”

Kathryn placed a hand on Tuvok’s forearm, giving it a gentle squeeze, “Thank you, my friend.” Tuvok nodded, watching as Kathryn got up and exited his assigned quarters. With a sigh, he rolled his eyes slightly, wondering if his captain and commander would finally figure things out, once and for all.

=/\=

When Kathryn arrived back at her assigned quarters, she was surprised to see Chakotay pressing the door chime just as she came around the corner. Spotting him a moment before he spotted her, she could see the look of anguish on his face, though he tried to hide it. She knew, or at least assumed, that he was just as unsettled as she was about what did or didn't happen last night. Just as she was taking a deep breath to calm her own jittery nerves, Chakotay looked up as she approached. Tugging on his ear, his dimples pressed into his cheeks as he smiled bashfully. “Oh, there you are.” She gave him a gentle smile as she came to stand before him.

The silence dragged on, though it was probably only a few seconds.

“I was just - “

“I think we need - “

They spoke in unison, both chuckling nervously. Kathryn typed in her access code and the door opened, “Come in, Chakotay. We need to talk.” He nodded silently, following her in, nearly flinching when the door closed. She nodded towards the sofa and they both sat down.

Kathryn felt those butterflies again in her stomach, then chided herself gently. This was Chakotay, and she knew he was every bit as uncomfortable about this situation as she was. Taking a deep breath, her eyes lifted to meet his. “What do you remember from last night?”

Chakotay bit his lip, tugging gently on his ear...a dead giveaway of his embarrassment.

“Well, I remember eggnog...lots of eggnog. I remember walking together to my quarters, and beyond that...nothing. I woke up this morning and asked the Doctor for a hypospray. He asked me if you needed one too, and I had no idea why he would ask such a thing. He told me he assumed we would be together, so I went back in the bedroom...and saw that you were there.” Kathryn dropped her face into her hands with a soft groan. “I didn’t know what to do or say, so I went to take a shower, hoping that more memories would come back to me." His cheeks flushed a bit, and if Kathryn wouldn't have been part of his terrible situation, she would have found it endearing. "They didn't, so then I was trying to figure out what in the world I was going to say to you when you woke up, but when I came out of the bathroom, you were gone." 

"I'm so sorry about that," her eyes met his before dropping to the floor again. “I was in immediate need of a bathroom this morning, and yours was occupied, and by the time I got myself sorted, I just couldn’t bring myself to go back to your quarters.”

Chakotay nodded, knowing he felt the same way, only working up the courage to speak to her after he’d had a conversation with B’Elanna. “What...what do _you_ think happened last night?”

Kathryn’s cheeks pinked further, the blush creeping across her face and down her neck, “I uh, I’m not really sure,” she bit her bottom lip, “What do _you_ think happened?” Chakotay shook his head, his mind just as blank as hers. 

Kathryn debated on whether or not to confront him with the only tangible piece of evidence she had, but she figured they really should get to the bottom of things as best as they could, “I need to show you something, and I need you to tell me if it brings back any memories.” Chakotay looked apprehensive, but nodded. Kathryn untied the neck of the loose fitting shirt that she wore, pulling several buttons open as well. Chakotay was just about to ask her what she was doing, but she pulled the sides of the shirt apart enough that the bruise on her right breast was in view. Glancing back up to his face, she asked, “Do you by chance remember giving me this last night?”

Chakotay’s eyes moved from the mark that marred her ivory skin, down to the hint of the view of her pink lace bra, and back up to her face, his eyes going wide as a memory came back to him. “I think I do,” he closed his eyes, willing his mind to continue on the vision it had latched onto. “I remember saying something about enjoying the fragrance of your perfume, and you wanted me to get closer to smell it properly,” as soon as he spoke the words he knew he was remembering correctly, but he also wished he hadn’t said it as Kathryn groaned in utter embarrassment.

“Ugh, I did, didn’t I?” She dropped her face into her hands for a moment, feeling her cheeks grow even hotter.

Chakotay then remembered the scratches on his own back and before Kathryn could look up, he pulled his shirt up and off, turning a bit, “Do you remember this?” He didn’t exactly want to subject her to even more mortification, but he figured, in for a penny…

Looking up, Kathryn gasped as she reached out and gently touched one of the angry marks on Chakotay’s back. “Oh, Chakotay, I’m so sorry.” She closed her eyes, another memory coming back to her, “Oh, I remember doing that when you were kissing my neck,” if at all possible, the blush went up into her scalp and she felt like she was on fire, “I’d just taken my dress off and you were kissing my neck,” her eyes landed on Chakotay’s face as he turned around, his own eyes wide.

“Yes, I was mad because you wouldn’t let me take it off for you.”

“But I told you I’d kiss you to make it up to you.”

“Did we actually kiss?”

“I’m not sure,” Kathryn’s brow furrowed as she tried to concentrate, “I don’t remember.”

Chakotay worked his way through the fragmented memories that had come back to him, but couldn’t remember how far they’d gone. Without warning, an idea came to him and he decided not to question, but just to act. “I have an idea. Close your eyes.”

Kathryn looked unsure, but did as she was told. Sliding closer to Kathryn on the sofa, Chakotay’s right hand came up to palm her cheek, his thumb brushing across her cheekbone. Her lips parted as her breathing picked up at his nearness. Fighting his own growing arousal from the situation, his memories and the woman before him, he leaned towards her, reveling in the warmth of her breath as it played across his lips. Watching her face for any sign that she didn’t approve of his actions, he closed the distance between them until he could feel the heat of her, smell the scent of her damned perfume again. His other hand slid up her arm, feeling her body tremble as his fingers ghosted across the skin of her neck, still bared from her half open shirt. Just when he couldn’t take the suspense any longer, he closed his eyes, his bottom lip sliding between hers. The feel of Kathryn’s lips closing around his had him hard in a second, and he couldn’t help the moan that vibrated in his throat as Kathryn leaned into him, gently sucking his lip between hers as her tongue slid against it.

Chakotay wasted no time deepening the kiss, sliding his fingers into her hair, his other arm going around her back to pull her closer. Somehow or another, she ended up on his lap, her own moan sounding when his erection pressed into her hip. Kathryn’s fingers began wandering, snaking into his hair to drag her nails down his scalp eliciting goosebumps over his chest and back.

She remembered a very similar moment last night, only there was less clothing between them, and she’d revelled in the feel of his naked torso pressed against hers. Pulling away suddenly, her eyes went wide as she gasped in a breath, “I remember.”

Chakotay panted, his eyes nearly black with lust as he forced his mind to focus on her words, wanting nothing more than to continue the kiss.

“I remember we were kissing on your bed,” she bit her lip, “and we were both naked, and we _were_ going to have sex…”

Flashes of memory hit Chakotay like a tidal wave at her words, “But you had to go to the bathroom...all that damned eggnog,” he cringed at the memory of how much they’d consumed.

“And when I came back, you’d passed out on the bed,” Kathryn spoke, “I remember trying to wake you up, and when I couldn’t, I lay down, figuring I’d wait for you to wake up on your own. I guess I passed out too.”

Chakotay let out a sigh of relief at the fact. They hadn’t slept together. They’d come close, but fate had actually smiled on them; he would have hated to have their first time be...like that.

Kathryn’s smile left her face, disappointment finding a home there, “So we didn’t have sex,” she would have been embarrassed at the sad tone of her voice had she not already been embarrassed about everything else that had happened.

“No, I guess we didn’t,” Chakotay answered and Kathryn noted the same tone in his voice as well. “Tom was lying.”

“I beg your pardon?” Kathryn’s brow furrowed, trying to follow Chakotay’s logic. He shook his head.

“Nothing,” his eyes lifted to hers, and the emotion he saw there strengthened his resolve to continue this conversation, “Are you disappointed that we didn’t sleep together?”

Kathryn drew breath to answer, but then paused. Tuvok had asked her the very same question. If she could be honest with him, she had to be honest with Chakotay. Holding up her hand, in a silent gesture that he recognized, he met her palm with his own, lacing their fingers together as they had years ago on a far off secluded planet, “Yes,” she spoke softly but plainly, realizing she was still seated on his lap and could still feel his hardness pressed against her.

Chakotay leaned up and pressed his lips to hers once again, a slower, gentler kiss that held so much promise for the future it nearly brought tears to her eyes. When he pulled back, he was pleased to see her own irises had darkened to a steely grey. “Well, we have a few hours before the Christmas Eve gala tonight,” his tone was suggestive and he raised his eyebrow, his dimples pressing into his cheeks when she responded with a lopsided grin of her own, “Perhaps we could continue this exploration of our memories in your bedroom...just to make sure we’ve remembered all there is to remember from last night.”

Kathryn’s smile grew as she stood up, her fingers still twined with his as she pulled him towards her bed, “I suppose that’s a good idea. We are explorers after all.”

=/\=

Chakotay’s body was still humming with aftershocks of pleasure as he walked back towards Kathryn’s quarters. He’d left her alone about a half an hour ago so that she could dress and get ready for their dinner. Grinning like a fool at the new memories he had of them together, he pressed her door chime. He only had to wait several seconds before the door opened.

Kathryn stood before him in a lovely white gown with thin straps over her shoulders, cinching in at her waist before flaring just slightly at her hips. He noticed she’d used a dermal regenerator on the mark on her chest...along with the others he’d left on her skin only hours ago. She smiled up at him as the door closed, her eyes bright and her lips curved up in a smile as she leaned into him, pressing a kiss to his lips. His arms came around her easily as he pulled her to him, a wave of fresh desire coursing through his body at the scent of her and the warmth of her in his arms. “Commander, again? Aren’t you sated yet?” She chuckled as he growled in her ear before gently nipping at her earlobe, careful to not leave a mark.

“Well, for the sake of curiosity, there are still a few things I don’t remember from last night, and I was hoping after dinner we might work to try to bring those memories back.” She chuckled, swatting his arm gently as she pulled back to look at him questioningly. “For example,” he reached into his pants pocket to procure a pair of lacy black underwear, “I don’t quite remember how these ended up on the floor of my bedroom. I was hoping you could help me with that.”

Kathryn chuckled, snatching the garment from him to toss into her bedroom, “You wicked man,” she grinned, kissing him once more before pressing the door lock, “I suppose we might be able to further explore what happened last night, but only after the gala, and only if we are both clear headed at the end of the evening.”

“Aye, Captain.”

They arrived at the gala to the welcome of the Trelians and Voyager’s crew alike. Everyone noticed, but no one seemed to comment that the Captain looked particularly radiant this evening. No one spoke about how the Commander seemed particularly peaceful, though he never took his eyes off the Captain. B’Elanna snickered when Tom reminded anyone that would listen that he was owed a week’s worth of replicator rations for seemingly winning a bet that everyone but the command team was in on.

After a lavish dinner, Kathryn and Chakotay moved about the banquet hall, speaking to this or that crew member or Trelian dignitary. Finally making it around to the drink table, Neelix poured two healthy glasses and held them up, “Eggnog?”

Kathryn and Chakotay looked at each other before speaking in unison…

“No!”


End file.
